Robert Powell

Dave Briggs

George Sewell

Superintendent Cottam

Jasper Carrott

Bob Louis

Jimmy Tarbuck

McKenna

John Nettles

Jim Bergerac

Philip Glenister

Uniformed Officer

Christopher Villiers

Dr Phipps

Eamonn Walker

D.I. Tyler

Nick Brimble

Jan

Ron Cook

Blind Billy

Adam Godley

D.C. Dominic Boyle

Jerry Hall

Jerry Palmer

Amanda Mealing

Emily Ford

Jon Cartwright

The Earl of Lisson

Adam Maxwell

Police Officer

Noel Coleman

The Butler

Laura Beckford

Receptionist

Candida Rundle

Chambermaid

Peter Geeves

Chef

Nick Ball

Barman

Rupert Bates

Mr Smith

Paul Williamson

Sir Lionel Case

Michael Melia

Brian

Eileen Way

Old Lady

Norman Lumsden

Old Man

Stuart Fox

Plain Clothes Officer

Nick Maloney

Psychiatrist

John Motson

Football Commentator (voice)

Michael Godley

Club Steward

Tony Jacklin

Himself

Don Gallagher

Sergeant Williams

Nosher Powell

McKenna Employee 1

Eddie Webber

Bank Robber

Marcus Eyre

McKenna Employee 2

Peter Jeffrey

Derek

Anthony Stewart Head

Simon

Ruth Hudson

Jane

Clive Darby

Assistant Director

Caroline O'Neill

Production Assistant

Alan Bodenham

Big Bird

Sion Tudor Owen

Terry

Jimmy Batten

Gangster

Harold Innocent

Viking

Michael Simkins

Doctor

Noel Edmonds

Himself

Nigel Davenport

Sir Arthur Andrews

Raad Rawi

Sultan of Benaris

John Dair

Masseur

Doug Fisher

Cabbie

Terence Alexander

Charlie Hungerford

James Ottaway

Old Gentleman

John Warnaby

Vet

Larry Martyn

Stable Hand

Lee Whitlock

Young Stablehand

Barry Cryer

Detective Simpson

Leon Herbert

Polish Joe

Leslie Grantham

Danny Kane

Andy Lucas

Greek Gangster

Alex Knight

Scottish Gangster

Dave Atkins

Ronnie

Georgina Hale

Irene Mazola

Lucy Davis

Young girl 1

Jeremy Fowlds

Young man 1

Jennifer Gibson

Young girl 2

Roger James Sewell

Young man 2

Jack Burns

Bouncer

Phil Atkinson

Egghead Evans

Chris Beaumont

Kenny

Henry Naylor

Police Driver

Andy Parsons

Armed Officer

Pete Pastore

Briefing Sgt

Gwen Taylor

Annie

Christopher Ellison

Lomax

Don Henderson

Brother Ryan

Ben Lobb

Copper 2

David J. Nicholls

P.C. Terry

Michael Redfern

Copper

Linda Regan

Barmaid

Shend

Tall Murderer

Fairmang Singhateh

Copper 3

Anna Wing

Old Lady

Colin Spaull

Train Guard

David Hatton

Hotspur

Herbert Lom

Van der Dyck

Holly De Jong

2nd Blind Date Woman

Hugh Dennis

Seth

Jamie Foreman

Billy

Kate Rhodes James

Laws' Secretary

Rupert Holliday-Evans

Skunk

Sarah Crowden

Head Teacher