Rowan Atkinson

Inspector Raymond Fowler

Serena Evans

Sergeant Patricia Dawkins

David Haig

Detective Inspector Derek Grim

James Dreyfus

Constable Kevin Goody

Mina Anwar

Constable Maggie Habib

Rudolph Walker

Constable Frank Gladstone

Mark Addy

Detective Constable Gary Boyle

Kevin Allen

Detective Constable Robert Kray

Ben Elton

Homeless Man

Natalie Walter

Elf

Stephen Moore

Ron

Stephen Fry

Blaster Sump

Perry Fenwick

Arrested Man

Archie Panjabi

Nazia Habib

Dicken Ashworth

Bank Robber

Stephen Marcus

Terry

Owen Teale

Gary

Gabrielle Blunt

Neighbour

Melvyn Hayes

D.S. Quentin Courvoisier

Alan David

Gasforth FC Manager

Trevor Peacock

Turnip Man

Walter Sparrow

Local Resident

Nicola Stapleton

Natalie

Ian Barritt

Surveyor

Bridget Turner

Mrs. Rabbit

Sheila Gish

Maeve the Sex Therapist

Alan Cox

Bob Tough

Colin McFarlane

European Commissioner Mustafa Delcroix

Rupert Vansittart

Commander Crow

Amelda Brown

Mrs. Bludger

Jonathan Cake

Stallion

Jean Ainslie

Elderly Lady

Tim Matthews

Bill Fowler

Alexander Armstrong

Arrested Man

Jake Wood

Carol Singer

Jay Simpson

Baz

Joy Brook

D.C. Crockett

Albie Woodington

Neighbour

Edwina Day

Elderly Lady

Bohdan Poraj

Young Man

George Raistrick

Arrested Man

Darren Brown

Arrested Man

Bill Thomas

Mythomaniac

Mark Chapman

Officer Plaice

Ruth Arnold

Bank Clerk

Gabrielle Blunt

Elderly Lady

Lloyd McGuire

Bank Manager

Bill Moody

Bank Robber